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Saman oh Saman!

Bukan salman khan atau salman ye, tapi S.A.M.A.N, saman. Sapa antara kita yang memandu tak pernah kena saman? Tahniah! Anda pemandu berhemah :) keep it up!
Aku pertama kali kena saman bila speeding kat Lebuh AMJ a.k.a By-Pass Muar-Melaka heheh. Kat situ limit dia 90 km/j je. Tapi aku telah tertekan minyak sampai 110 km/j! Aku pun tak sedar bila aku buat cam tu. Tau² dapat je surat dari PDRM. Aku ingat aku dapat anugerah ke, sijil penghormatan ke, rupanya pemberitahuan bahawa aku telah melakukan kesalahan! Ahahah. Pengamal Undang² pun buat salah, apalah lagi rakyat biasa. Punyala aku risau masa tu. Yela, sekali kena RM300 maa!! Banyak tuu!! Buleh buat isi minyak 2-3 bulan (masa tu la)

Setelah berdiskusi dengan rakan sekerja, aku pun dinasihatkan untuk membayar je saman tu kat Balai Polis Trafik berhampiran. Takkan nak mengadap Majistret pulak semata² sebab tu. Kang jatuh reputasi hehehe.

Maka, aku pun meminta tulung staff aku yang paling ayu kat ofis tu untuk pergi ke Balai untuk menyetelkan saman tu. Maklum la, aku dulu buat kes eksiden. So rajin juga la ke Balai sana untuk amik repot orang. Sambil kat ofis tu aku mundar mandir jela menunggu staff aku tu balik. Hati tak tenang ni. Tetiba...

"Encik wan, orang kat balai ni tanya berapa cik wan nak mintak kurang" "Err kalu boleh se maksimum mungkin la"
Talian 'idle' sebentar.

"Ok cik wan, diorang cakap bayar ikut kelajuan cik wan bawak"

Adusss!! Ikut kelajuan aku bawak? Jap²...aku bawak 110 km/j bermakna aku kena bayar....RM110 la.

"Ok la tu su. Nanti saya bagi duit"

Melayang RM110 aku!

Tu baru saman speeding. Lepas tu aku ada dapat saman parking plak! Adesss. Yela parking merata corok. Walaupun kereta ada lekat itu sticker "Peguam" sama "Mahkamah" tapi saman tetap saman! Siap sangkut saman aku dekat viper dekat sticker aku tu lagi. Terima Kasih Encik Penguasa, anda telah menjalankan tugas tanpa memilih bulu!

Tu baru saman speeding. Lepas tu aku ada dapat saman parking plak! Adesss. Yela parking merata corok. Walaupun kereta ada lekat itu sticker "Peguam" sama "Mahkamah" tapi saman tetap saman! Siap sangkut saman aku dekat viper dekat sticker aku tu lagi. Terima Kasih Encik Penguasa, anda telah menjalankan tugas tanpa memilih bulu!

Haritu balik Muar lagi. Bertolak dari KL jam 8.30 malam. Masuk tol Sungai Besi, keluar tol Ayer Keroh. Aku kalau balik Muar memang takkan ikut Tangkak atau Pagoh. Kalau ikut Tangkak, malam² bute memang bahaya! Dan jauh juga. Aku duduk Bukit Pasir, senang lagi kalu ikut Ayer Keroh atau Pagoh. Bahaya ikut Tangkak bukan sebab jalan licin kea pa, tapi sebab orang cerita ada benda² yang korang tak sangka jumpe buleh terjumpe. No harm Tangkak people. Hanya mendengar cerita² larut malam J. Kalau ikut Pagoh memang dekat tapi tol mahal. Oh nehi, nehi! Dengan harga minyak yang mahal (ehh…harga minyak dunia bukan dah turun ke? Kenapa minyak kita tak turun lagi? Owh…tengah kaji rupanya. Muskil…nak naik minyak tak payah kaji pulak…haiiii) di tambah dengan tol yang memang mahal, hanya keadaan tertentu je aku akan ikut sana :p

Btw, sampai tol Ayer Keroh dalam jam 10.00 malam. Dah nak masuk area Kandang aku bawak slow je (slow kott). Sampai kat traffic light tu aku tengok lampu tengah hijau lagi. Aku pun apa lagi, try memecut kereta selaju mungkin (jangan tiru aksi ini). Betul² kereta aku mencecah simpang tu, lampu jadi merah. Dah alang², baik aku terus aje. Lagipun dah malam. Sapa yang peduli. Lepas tu aku pun slow. Dalam 3-4 minit lepas tu aku perasan ada lampu kelip² kaler biru nun hujung jauh belakang aku. Dalam hati aku mesti polis tu nampak aku langgar lampu tadi. Ahhh…biarla. Diorang ada sebab lain kot. Tetiba kete polis tu betul² sebelah aku. Bagi isyarat suruh berenti. Ok, fine aku berenti tepi jalan. Macam biasa la, mintak lesen sama ic. Lepas tu bagitau aku yang aku dah langgar lampu merah. Aku cakap aku tak perasan, lagipun masa aku bawak tu tengah laju, takkan aku nak berenti mengejut kott. Ada yang menyanyi tayar kete aku kat tengah² simpang tu. Aku hanya bertindak ‘reasonable’ berdasarkan keadaan. Lepas tu diorang cakap la dia Nampak aku bawak laju la apa la itu la ini la. tapi yang paling aku tak suke bila dia cakap dia kena saman aku jugak sebab dia kena buat report. Kuota saman dia bulan ni belum ada lagi. Kirenya bila saman aku cukupla kuota dia untuk bulan ni. Kamon la bro, tu namanya dan mencari kesalahan orang semata-mata untuk memenuhkan buku repot ko tu! Aku tengok yang beria-ria nak saman aku tu mamat polis yang muda tu. Yang sorang lagi agak senior, gelak² je macam malas nak amik port.

Yela, berdasarkan pengamatan aku dan kajian aku (sempat tu buat kajian), masa aku dah langgar lampu merah tu, kete polis masih jauh lagi. Maybe baru lepas traffic light simpang ke Bukit Katil sana. Jarak adala dalam 300 meter. Lepas aku dah lepas traffic light Kandang tu, jarak aku dengan traffic light tu dah 300-400 meter. Aku bajet polis tu dah berenti kat traffic light tu. Maybe atas desakan budak muda tu, yang senior pun angguk jela. Lagipun kuota belum cukup, diorang nyalakan lampu, langgar lampu merah juga dan terus kejar aku sebab takut aku dah melepasi traffic light kedua lepas Kandang sana. Kalu dah terlepas sure lagi susah diorang nak cari kesalahan aku. Sebab waktu aku berenti tu, jarak aku dengan traffic light kedua lepas Kandang tu adala dalam 200 meter je. Nampak sangat ‘mala fide’ kat situ.

Semata-mata mahu menyaman aku sanggup mengejar aku balik. Kalu la aku ada niat tak baik time tu mau aku belok je ke simpang tu lari. Tapi oleh kerna aku yakin aku betul, maka aku pun menyain jela surat saman tu. Adusss…. Dah terbayang RM yang bakal melayang lagi.

Moral of the story

Aku ingat nak sogok je mamat polis tu. Tapi aku pikir balik, tak payahla. Membazir duit aku jerk. Baik aku setel je saman tu daripada buat benda tak senonoh tu.

p/s: speed racer :p

10 Blog Traffic Tips

In every bloggers life comes a special day - the day they first launch a new blog. Now unless you went out and purchased someone else's blog chances are your blog launched with only one very loyal reader - you. Maybe a few days later you received a few hits when you told your sister, father, girlfriend and best friend about your new blog but that's about as far you went when it comes to finding readers.Here are the top 10 techniques new bloggers can use to find readers.

These are tips specifically for new bloggers, those people who have next-to-no audience at the moment and want to get the ball rolling.

It helps if you work on this list from top to bottom as each technique builds on the previous step to help you create momentum. Eventually once you establish enough momentum you gain what is called "traction", which is a large enough audience base (about 500 readers a day is good) that you no longer have to work too hard on finding new readers. Instead your current loyal readers do the work for you through word of mouth.Top 10 Tips

10. Write at least five major "pillar" articles. A pillar article is usually a tutorial style article aimed to teach your audience something. Generally they are longer than 500 words and have lots of very practical tips or advice. This article you are currently reading could be considered a pillar article since it is very practical and a good "how-to" lesson. This style of article has long term appeal, stays current (it isn't news or time dependent) and offers real value and insight. The more pillars you have on your blog the better.

9. Write one new blog post per day minimum. Not every post has to be a pillar, but you should work on getting those five pillars done at the same time as you keep your blog fresh with a daily news or short article style post. The important thing here is to demonstrate to first time visitors that your blog is updated all the time so they feel that if they come back tomorrow they will likely find something new. This causes them to bookmark your site or subscribe to your blog feed.

You don't have to produce one post per day all the time but it is important you do when your blog is brand new. Once you get traction you still need to keep the fresh content coming but your loyal audience will be more forgiving if you slow down to a few per week instead. The first few months are critical so the more content you can produce at this time the better.

8. Use a proper domain name. If you are serious about blogging be serious about what you call your blog. In order for people to easily spread the word about your blog you need an easily rememberable domain name. People often talk about blogs they like when they are speaking to friends in the real world (that's the offline world, you remember that place right?) so you need to make it easy for them to spread the word and pass on your URL. Try and get a .com if you can and focus on small easy to remember domains rather than worry about having the correct keywords (of course if you can get great keywords and easy to remember then you've done a good job!).

7. Start commenting on other blogs. Once you have your pillar articles and your daily fresh smaller articles your blog is ready to be exposed to the world. One of the best ways to find the right type of reader for your blog is to comment on other people's blogs. You should aim to comment on blogs focused on a similar niche topic to yours since the readers there will be more likely to be interested in your blog.

Most blog commenting systems allow you to have your name/title linked to your blog when you leave a comment. This is how people find your blog. If you are a prolific commentor and always have something valuable to say then people will be interested to read more of your work and hence click through to visit your blog.

6. Trackback and link to other blogs in your blog posts. A trackback is sort of like a blog conversation. When you write a new article to your blog and it links or references another blogger's article you can do a trackback to their entry. What this does is leave a truncated summary of your blog post on their blog entry - it's sort of like your blog telling someone else's blog that you wrote an article mentioning them. Trackbacks often appear like comments.

This is a good technique because like leaving comments a trackback leaves a link from another blog back to yours for readers to follow, but it also does something very important - it gets the attention of another blogger. The other blogger will come and read your post eager to see what you wrote about them. They may then become a loyal reader of yours or at least monitor you and if you are lucky some time down the road they may do a post linking to your blog bringing in more new readers.

5. Encourage comments on your own blog. One of the most powerful ways to convince someone to become a loyal reader is to show there are other loyal readers already following your work. If they see people commenting on your blog then they infer that your content must be good since you have readers so they should stick around and see what all the fuss is about. To encourage comments you can simply pose a question in a blog post. Be sure to always respond to comments as well so you can keep the conversation going.

4. Submit your latest pillar article to a blog carnival. A blog carnival is a post in a blog that summarizes a collection of articles from many different blogs on a specific topic. The idea is to collect some of the best content on a topic in a given week. Often many other blogs link back to a carnival host and as such the people that have articles featured in the carnival enjoy a spike in new readers.

To find the right blog carnival for your blog, do a search at http://blogcarnival.com/.

3. Submit your blog to blogtopsites.com. To be honest this tip is not going to bring in a flood of new readers but it's so easy to do and only takes five minutes so it's worth the effort. Go to Blog Top Sites, find the appropriate category for your blog and submit it. You have to copy and paste a couple of lines of code on to your blog so you can rank and then sit back and watch the traffic come in. You will probably only get 1-10 incoming readers per day with this technique but over time it can build up as you climb the rankings. It all helps!

2. Submit your articles to EzineArticles.com. This is another tip that doesn't bring in hundreds of new visitors immediately (although it can if you keep doing it) but it's worthwhile because you simply leverage what you already have - your pillar articles. Once a week or so take one of your pillar articles and submit it to Ezine Articles. Your article then becomes available to other people who can republish your article on their website or in their newsletter.

How you benefit is through what is called your "Resource Box". You create your own resource box which is like a signature file where you include one to two sentences and link back to your website (or blog in this case). Anyone who publishes your article has to include your resource box so you get incoming links. If someone with a large newsletter publishes your article you can get a lot of new readers at once.

1. Write more pillar articles. Everything you do above will help you to find blog readers however all of the techniques I've listed only work when you have strong pillars in place. Without them if you do everything above you may bring in readers but they won't stay or bother to come back. Aim for one solid pillar article per week and by the end of the year you will have a database of over 50 fantastic feature articles that will work hard for you to bring in more and more readers.

This article was by Yaro Starak, a professional blogger and my blog mentor. He is the leader of the Blog Mastermind mentoring program designed to teach bloggers how to earn a full time income blogging part time.To get more information about Blog Mastermind click this link:

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Ini ada satu cerita ... (Part I)

Lepas buat posting Part II haritu baru perasan takda pun posting Part I! aiyakk! sori lorr! gue tak perasan!

Bila cek balik inbox, rupanya Part I masih dalam draft! heheheh. Takpela...posting tu dah jadi sejarah. Aku buat posting baru. Ala, macam dalam omputih gak la kan. Diorang terus tayangkan citer yang dah climaks. Tak tau hujung pangkal. LEpas tu barula diorang buat yang awal² plak. Tu sume untuk promosi filem diorang. Supaya penonton akan terus mengikuti apa yang berlaku sebelumnya. Samala macam aku buat ni hehehehe.

Jem Oh Jem!

Bukan jem untuk dimakan dengan roti tau. NI jalan jem punya cerita! masih hangat untuk diperkatakan. Walaupun nampak remeh, tapi kalau kita semua alert kita boleh mengurangkan ke 'jem' an jalan raya. Tak percaya?

Semua orang tau kan, bila kita sampai simpang yang ada trafic light, kita akan berenti sebab masa tu lampu merah. So kita berenti.

Ok, kita bagi situasi la senang. Sampai lampu merah kita berenti. Kita pun free kan gear. Kalu auto kita neutralkan gear. Takut tersondol kereta BMW depan kita tuh.Depan kita ada dalam 10 kereta lagi. Tak lama lepas tu, lampu pun hijau. Kita pun masukkan gear satu...tapi still tak bergerak lagi. Lepas 2 minit, kita baru nak gerak dan lampu pun dah merah. Eh...apa cer? nak masuk gear 2 pun tak sempat!

Korang tau tak nape? Mengikut kajian dan pemandangan aku, kalu 10 kereta depan kita tuh semua freekan gear msa lampu merah, dan lepas tu semua masukkan gear 1 bila tiba lampu hijau, berapa banyak masa akan diambil oleh setiap kereta? contohnya, katala setiap kereta akan mengambil masa 5-10 saat untuk masukkan gear 1, kalu ada 10 kereta dah berapa saat? kalu 20 kereta dah berapa minit? lampu isyarat plak hanya beberapa saat jerkk. So bila tiba turn kita lampu dah merah balik! Adehhh

Solution dia senang jerk. Penyebab utama jalan jem ni ialah kereta yang berada di depan sekali dan kereta kedua yang mengikut dia. kalau korang tak percaya, korang tengok jela sendiri. ORang yang depan sepatutnya alert bila lampu dah hijau nih. Bukan lampu hijau dia masih terkebil-kebil tengok awek nak seberang jalan tu atau tengok ada mamat hensem yang ada atas moto sebelah kereta dia tu.

Kalu korang sampai simpang tu lampu dah merah, dan korang tau lampu isyarat tu memang cepat, apa kata korang trus maintain gear 1 jer sambil mainkan clutch tu. Sebabnya kalu korang free kan gear dan tetiba lampu tu trus tukar kaler hijau balik, mau amik masa nak masukkan gear 1 balik. Pulak tu tetiba kena gear sangkut ke apa ke, dah makan masa beb!

Kalu lampu isyarat tu ada number (yang ni lagi senang nak alert), bila lampu merah tu dah tinggal lagi 10 saat tu, sila masukkan gear 1 trus! bukan bila dah dekat 10 saat lampu hijau baru korang terhegeh² nak masukkan gear 1! Err bukan korang la...orang lain hehe. Contoh je.

Senang kan? Yang penting kita kembali kepada sikap kita sendiri. jangan nak nyusahkan orang lain kerana sikap anda! Pandu cermat, Jiwa Selamat.

p/s: bukan kaki kejar lampu hijau hehehe